


i don't miss you at all

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Dialogue Heavy, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Logince - Freeform, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rough Kissing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sloppy Makeouts, also LOTS of overreacting, but for the love of god PLEASE keep yourselves safe and consider, fic title is a song by FINNEAS, if you might be triggered by heavy psychologically related romance tropes, no archive warnings, song inspired fic, unless you're into that kind of stuff ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-18 16:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21279806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: because avoiding sexual tension with your best friend is easier when you're apart.a (sort of) sequel to my first fic, okay lover. you don't have to read it to understand this one though you might miss one or two references.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	i don't miss you at all

Goddamn fucking Christ. Its warmer than a two-layered blanket on your clothed body in summer but still somehow not hot enough to wear a singlet without feeling butt-naked. So, basically, the small town of Sanders is still the same as it was when Logan last left- from its stupidly long deserted roads to its blistering hot weather.  
Very welcoming on this already trainwreck of a day. Plane flights are exhausting.

Still, it feels weirdly nostalgic to come back to the very town you were raised in after one, two, three, four years- basically forever-and Logan can't shake the feeling that the fucking unreal amount of sunlight in Sanders wasn't he only menace he was bound to encounter during his first day back home.  
He checks his watch to see the time. Yeah. He's going to be fucking late. 

The bespectacled twenty-year old locates the coffeehouse with ease and his legs practically waltz there with a mind of their own. Its not so hard after muscle memory fills in the gaps in replacement of Google Maps.

Logan, the poor boy, can't seem to find a way to go up in front of the counter without looking like he's already chosen something to drink. Fuck menus that sit right above the counter like a huge-ass advertising billboard. Fuck coffeehouses. Fuck the piece of shit human who made him come here in the first place.

Logan orders his green tea and scrambles to get just enough cash out of his wallet right before the cashier has finished punching in his order into the register. "Pocket calculator my ass," Logan thinks almost immediately. Only then he realizes how devastatingly familiar the voice in his head sounds. Logan's brain is really testing how long he can go before giving his excitement away. "Geez, desperate much? He's a douchebag."

Oh. And what do you know. Said douchebag is late as well. Logan can tell that very clearly as that absolute shithead has just arrived four minutes later than himself.

"Logan!" Wow. Nothing has changed. Loud sixteen year olds don't change when they're adults in public apparently.

"Roman." Logan responds calmly but loud enough to be heard from the entrance. Logan is screaming inside. His brain is giving off millions of incoherent alarms simultaneously as if to say "Shut your fucking mouth right now before you regret it". Because of this, Logan doesn't recognize the sort of face he's making at the moment. If he had to guess, it probably looks like the same blank expression but with a stupidly obvious crimson overlay. Just fucking wonderful. Who doesn't love dead giveaways?

Roman looks pretty flustered too as he hastily makes his way to Logan. Logan wants to think its for the same reason for his schoolgirl-blush but somehow his brain just automatically rejects the idea of that ever being the case. He just stands there beside the counter like an idiot, calculating the mere seconds before the death of all his functioning bodily mechanics, also known as Roman.

"Jesus Christ, you are still so fucking loud." Logan is surprised that he gets to have the first word while he and Roman are in very close proximity, even for a couple of good buddies. Roman just continues crushing Logan in his bear-hug. Letting someone else speak first? Not speaking at all? Perhaps people's manners really do change for the better if you just allow them the sufficient amount of time to apply themselves.

"So, how's the walking encyclopedia doing?" Roman quips as soon as the two of them find seats. Change really is bullshit, huh.

"I assume you're still referring to me as such- another failure churned out of that terrible nickname generator you call a brain," says Logan, sipping his tea. "To answer your question, however, I like to imagine I've been doing good so far."

"Lies," Roman grins like a four-year old at the doorstep on Halloween night, gracefully lifting his latte up to his mouth. "I bet a hundred dollars that you're still as broke as you were when we both lived in this shithole."

"Nonsense, you're just as stiffy with your money as I am." Logan deadpans with a newfound confidence. "Even after all these years, I simply couldn't fathom the idea of you with a single dollar to reinburse that bet, casanova."

"Funny thing, that," replies Roman solemnly. "Its only been four years, sweetheart, not a decade."

Logan can't respond to that. Roman just dropped the S bomb. Both of them just stay in that moment for a couple of seconds, like the deity of time is still trying to comprehend what just happened. Oh my god.

What the fuck.

Whoops. That come out loud? 

Logan hasn't noticed, but Roman is still trapped in his own moment of shame- he's backed up into the red patterned pillow behind him and plastered his palms on the fabric of the cushioned couch. Logan's mind is currently reeling from his own shock at Roman's sudden show of... affection. Or feelings. Or whatever the fuck that jerk was trying to say.

"You called me casanova too, okay!" Roman spits out of nowhere, having recovered from his own embarrassment.

"What the fuck? I didn't even say anything!" Logan whisper-shouts in response. He wasn't going to stoop as low as Roman's level of loud-ass pubic outbursts. "Jesus Christ, um, sorry about that."

The two slightly-rustled boys sit back up in their respective seats attempting to find a new conversation topic to start over with. Nothing comes to mind for Logan, but Roman brushes off his awkwardness just as easily as it came and takes a deep breath before firing up a whole new topic to talk about. Logan notes that Roman still retained his people skills while Logan had not grown anymore in the social departmant since he was a teenager. It seems unnatural, but they eventually come to the unspoken agreement to refrain from ever bringing up the last three minutes for the sake of starting off on the right foot. And for the sake of future misunderstandings.

So its all good! How swell! They seem to be having a normal converstaion that would normally occurr with two normal people. That's a start.

But Logan really wants to say something about it. He seriously wants to ask Roman why he's such a coward. Why the two of them are such fools.

Perhaps for each other, Logan thinks to himself. No one would want to bring up past love life experiences in a nice light-hearted chat between two good friends. Friends who haven't seen each other since high school.

"How long has it been since we kissed?" says Logan, interrupting Roman mid-sentence. If Roman is mad, he doesn't show it. Its just a slate of disdain on his gorgeous tanned face. It makes Logan upset that he didn't get a chance to tell Roman before this fuck-up that his face when he laughs, smiles or anything really- is beautiful.

Its a real damn shame because Roman's making a face Logan doesn't recognize. Still utterly ravishing either way.

"I...I'm sorry," Roman unexpectedly doesn't make a big show out of it but rather his voice drops so devastatingly soft that Logan has to lean all the way forward of his seat on the opposite end to make out what he's saying. Roman internalizes his sheer cringe at Logan's lack of self-awareness of the scene he's making by craning his neck all the way over to Roman's side of the table and forces himself to carry on. "I hate myself for making you think we were anything more than friends...like... I-"

"We weren't?" Logan practically coils himself back into his chair. Roman doesn't even have time to acknowledge how much he just fucked up before Logan sums up all his thoughts into one sentence. "Then what the fuck did you do to me?"

Roman cups his mouth with one hand and his eyes well up with very non-subtle tears. Logan doesn't move an inch and just looks petrified and disgusted all at once. Its an incredible sight to behold- the sheer aura this entire situation emits. It reeks of fucking terror.

Without wasting a second, Roman's own sense of awareness is thrown out of the window as he forcefully grabs Logan's arm to drag him out the glass door despite the countless silent protests. He needed to fix this. But he couldn't let a single person see his fucking hellspawn of an ugly crying face no matter how defeated he felt. Except for Logan apparently. Even after all this time, Roman couldn't get over the way he felt whenever Logan was sad. Then he was sad. No one else had that effect on Roman- not even the multiple bodies that kept his warm in his college dorm, or his childhood friends Patton and Virgil. Dearest Patton and Virgil. He'd do anything for those two. Wash his mouth out with soap, take a bowling ball to the gut, you name it.

But no one compared to Logan. 

How scary was that?

Logan looked just plain mad for a second as he released from Roman's grip. Then his face twisted into a twitching mix of frustration and speechlessness.

Then it hit Roman. 

Logan didn't want an apology.

"I-I... I seriously don't know what to say anymore!" Logan sputtered hoarsely, somehow still smiling, blinking back the tears welling up in those gleaming hazel eyes. God, Roman loved his eyes. "I'm- I just- I really... I give up."

Years of Logan expertise wasn't enough to guide this situation into the right direction, what to say, what to do. Leave it be and let Logan do whatever? He'd rather die. Tell him the truth? Could possibly lead to Roman's death. Either way, it was his turn to play his cards. Logan wasn't walking away. Did Roman still have a chance to fix this? Absolutely. Was he going to take that chance? "Just give it up, Princey." Well, shit. Even the Virgil inside Roman's head was barking at him to back down. It made sense, Roman supposed- Virgil was always the most protective over his friends no matter how much he refused to admit it.

Great. Too bad there was no hypothetical-Patton to tell Roman what to do now. He could really use it, seeing as how Logan looked at him with such frustration and sadness. He just wanted to swoop Logan into his arms. Tell him that everything was going to be okay. Hold his lithe and stoic figure in his lanky arms and tell him he loved him.

Love? Was that it? Was that what Logan wanted to hear?

Or was that the hopeless romantic in him convincing him to believe that? That Logan was the one who loved him to bits and not the other way around?

Roman decided to give up too.

There was no use hiding a truth that would lead to rejection either way he confessed or hid it. 

He was prepared for that sense of dejection from the start when he realized the daunting truth for himself anyway.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Roman breathed out finally. " I just know that I still love you."

Oh, shit. Still? 

Roman didn't even know he'd been longing for Logan for... so long.

And now Logan was about to say whether he felt the same.

But Logan didn't say anything. For a split second, he just smiled.

Oh, how Roman missed that. How could he have lived so long without that ethreal sight for years now? Roman inhaled suddenly, his face flushing a dark pink.

Logan leaned up and kissed Roman on the jaw. He pulled off after a second before Roman dove back in to catch Logan's lips. Not long after, they were both relentlessly chasing that same sensation they felt in that dimly-lit basement on a rainy Wednesday night. When the atmosphere of the Halloween festivities were long over but their time together wasn't. The experience still lingered in the midst of all their time apart.

And now they were re-living it.

Roman's hands found their way down to the small of Logan's back and Logan shivered when Roman wrapped his long arms around his waist. Logan's fingers pressed just the right amount of pressure into the curls of Roman's hair. Neither broke apart, even after coming to the realization they were still outside the coffeehouse. No one was there, but still. Before their kiss grew anymore sensual, Logan tore himself away from his best friend, proving it to be a fairly difficult task as his ears continued to simmer a dark blush on them. Roman noticed and smirked a little at that.

"So, where do you wanna go now?" Roman smiled. Oh, how Logan missed that annoyingly handsome smile of his. He missed that natural charm that Roman possessed that made Logan go weak in his knees.

"Your place?" Logan chewed on his bottom lip nervously. Roman could die in this nerd's arms and pass away the happiest and most smitten man alive.

Roman just grinned, showing off his impeccable pearly-whites. They didn't hold hands as they walked but everything still felt like the best movie either two had ever been in- the way both of them exchanged glances with each other and didn't hide it when one was caught staring. The pigment of the skies above them darkened as they approached the junction in front of Roman's apartment. Rain came down like an avalanche, drops and drops of water hitting the concrete pavement. Neither of the boys wept- they just kept laughing uncontrollably and smiling dumbly as Roman draped his sweater over Logan's shoulders. Time failed to pass at that moment.

It was all so unbelievably real.

**Author's Note:**

> my second fic here!! hope yall enjoyed this. especially the user who gave me the idea for this follow-up fic in the first place *cough cough*


End file.
